Assumptions…

So many of us assume that everyone we know;  family,  co-workers,  friends, an neighbors have everything they need. Unfortunately that isn’t always the case.  We assume that if someone needs assistance its available to them, not always.  Some work odd hours that prevent them from getting to agencies that could help, some may not have the means or transportation to get these agencies.   You just never know….

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The Appointment…

Apparently I made this appointment many years ago.  Its the appointment of where my life currently is and I certainly wish that I can change it, cancel it, or postpone it but since those options aren’t available I just have to face it.  I am in a constant state of panic, worry, or what if? I try not to do these things but it can be quite difficult to say the least.

The advice I get ranges from change jobs, move, or do something about it.

Change jobs okay I’ve done that 8 times (yes, I said 8) this year.  All of the jobs I’ve had in 2014 have been temp. jobs.  I just can’t seem to find anything solid.  I keep hoping that one of these opportunities will open a door but I continue working with the daily fear that it could be my last day.  And then what? Sometimes it seems worthless to even go to work because the pay just barely covers rent & utilities but I try very hard to be thankful I still have a home.

Do something about it…any suggestions out there?  What am I suppose to do? With every job change the hours change so it makes it hard to work in a 2nd job.  Yes, I’ve had to do it before and I would again but without a stable consistent first job that makes it hard to do.  I have no luxuries or extra expenses I can eliminate.  I guess I could cancel my internet but its my only means of communication and way of searching for a job. Some days I just want to scream but what good would it really do? No one would hear me and if they did they might think I’m crazy.

I guess what I am getting at is if you don’t like where your life is or where you think you could be headed do something about it.  I don’t like where I am right now and I am trying to change where I am.  I think there is hope and hopefully I find it soon.  I can’t give up so don’t you give up either.

Merry Christmas.

What Is My Next Move??

Since school isn’t an option for me and job opportunities aren’t coming my way what is my next move, I have got to come up with something and its got to be soon.  My mind is a blank…I need a great idea.. Any suggestions?

Maybe I invest my time in creating something that I can sell. But what?  I can’t seem to come up with any ideas.  I want to do something that leaves me room to help other people too.

If you have any suggestions…I need an idea.

Circumstances beyond my control…

For weeks, more like months I have been trying to wrap my head around my life. At the exact time last year I was struggling financially to survive, a year later my situation is worse. I was laid off in January from a job I had for 9 months and I thought to myself okay here is your chance to find something better. I wanted to go back to school but I couldn’t pass the entrance exam and realistically I couldn’t afford it anyway. Grrr…. I filed unemployment and drew it for 3 weeks but I was so bored I went to a temporary agency and was placed in a factory. I was making less than what I had been but it was closer to home. That lasted 2 months. Since February I have had 5 other temporary jobs and drew 3 more weeks of unemployment. Now I am at a yet another job making even less than I was last year at this time.
I am really frustrated sometimes because I can’t seem to wrap my head around why it has to be this way. I ask for help but the places I go think I make too much money. Ha, that is just crazy.
You may ask why I am telling you this, because I hope to reach people before its too late in life to have options. I heard a young man saying recently, “I have the rest of my life.” the rest of your life goes quicker than you think. I imagine I probably said that too at some point in my life and now I am sitting here wondering how I will survive. I don’t have insurance and I need cataract surgery, I don’t have a retirement fund and I have nothing in the bank.
I know many would say to be thankful for what I have: a place to live, electricity, and water. Believe me I try but its hard knowing I can’t just go to the grocery store or wondering what happens if I get sick or hurt. Its a scared that is hard to overcome sometimes.
If you have the opportunity to get an education than get one, if you have a good job then keep it, if you have extra money at the end of the week save it because life goes quicker than you think.

DIFFICULT TIMES..

Everyone experiences difficult times in their lives & what they give to US is experience. The experience gives us valuable and sometimes painful information to share with someone else. My hope is that if shared with someone else it might give a different perspective.
Share your experiences with other people it might relieve someone else’s pain. When we reach out to someone else it helps us to heal.
I have always believed that “Everything happens for a reason.” I am at a particular job for a reason, I go somewhere unplanned for a reason & I meet certain people for a reason. I may not know at the time what the reason is but at sometime I usually figure it out. Many times it is to pass on my difficult experiences with someone and from that I experience healing. Hopefully what I share helps somebody else through their own difficult times….

OKAY…SO YOU ARE DIFFERENT

I have been thinking lately how much pressure some may feel about being different. So what if you don’t have the same hair, features, cloths, etc…as someone else. No two people are alike, not even identical twins.
Your family members are different and you still love them, right?
Just because someone’s outside appearance is different than yours doesn’t mean they are not worth knowing. Remember the saying, “you can’t judge a book by its cover?”
Some people may feel pressure because they are dealing with emotions and feelings that don’t think anyone else is dealing with. You are not alone.
Whenever you feeling low and worried that you are different, just remember so is the next person.
WE’RE ALL DIFFERENT AND THATS OKAY!!!

RELATIONSHIPS….

Relationships are complicated, they take time, patience, respect, and trust. Without these key ingredients how will the relationship blossom and grow. Relationships also take LOVE and COMPASSION but without time, patience, respect, and trust; I pose this question, DO YOU TRULY LOVE AND HAVE COMPASSION FOR YOUR PARTNER?

Partner: two people in a relationship. Normally there are 2 people in a relationship unfortunately there are times when only ONE of these people is contributing to the relationship. This requires yet another ingredient for the relationship: COMMUNICATION. Without communication how does anyone know what the other person is thinking, feeling, or struggling with?

Relationships take work and unless both people involved are working it may not survive. The relationship dies & there is a complete disconnect. If your partner is important enough to you and you truly love them take the time for communication.

DRAWING A BLANK

For nearly a month I have not been able to come up with anything to write. I guess I am drawing a blank or maybe I am allowing outside influences effect me. I have found myself drawn back into my old way of thinking which Dr. Phil calls a fictional self. Its not my authentic self but it seems so familiar that its hard to let go of like an old pair of shoes. The feeling is comfortable because its what I have always known but its painful because I just want to take those “shoes” and throw them away and never wear them again.
I can’t seem to grasp anything, I am having a difficult time understanding things. and I am becoming very frustrated with myself.
All the things that my life became I caused so to step over or around them seems impossible. Its all constant reminders of failures and wrong decisions. I want to find a way to use my knowledge to help others but I am at a lose of how to share it. I just keep drawing a blank…

Why? Why did you choose to leave?

Why did someone so young feel they needed to leave this life? What made them so sad? Why didn’t they have the strength to carry on anymore? Many questions without any answers. That is what the ones left behind are faced with.
If things are bad and you don’t know what to do anymore seek help. Don’t be ashamed to say to someone I need help. It doesn’t make you less of a person it makes you a stronger person. You may think you have no one but when you have chosen to leave this world it becomes apparent to those left behind you were loved more than you ever realized.
Even to a stranger it brings sadness reading all those messages left behind for you knowing that you were loved. It also makes the stranger realize even more that there needs to be a voice for you and anyone else out there who needs someone.
It truly saddens me that you may have felt alone and sad. Could you have been saved?